No time to post. Pixelwork continues to mount. I’m literally still working on the “Consolidated To Do List” that I generated for Monday of last week. In the interim, I have received 232 emails from my accounts which have been read and noted, but for the large part, ignored because they’re outside my bandwidth right now and I just haven’t gotten to them yet.
I could get to them, if I could stay awake long enough at night. I could get to them if I worked the weekends. I could get to them… but that would only be treating the symptom, not the actual problem itself.
I’m being overworked. I don’t know what kind of a profit margin that this company wants us to work at, but those numbers need serious revising.
My clients are in a perpetual state of entropic gravity… the longer I wait to get to them (and it’s not by choice, really) the more they fall apart. And the harder it is to get them back to the place where they’re getting the attention they demand.
And none of this leaves much in the way for time as a project manager. I’m struggling against summer vacation schedules and the fact that the entire shop is overbooked to try and get meetings scheduled to review documents which are promised to one client for tomorrow… the project plan. The plan which showed me just how little attention I’m paying to any one given client or project at all right about now.
And yet I’m being asked to know all of my client details, to be the glue that binds everything together, to be the primary front-line tactical information house. When I ask for internal support, the first thing I need to do is brief said support on all of the details. And what I need support with is taking care of knowing the details. So asking for help is an exercise in futility.
Plus there’s the stress that today at 4pm is the discussion with my boss. I’ve asked for help formally, now I get to see whether or not this is a supportive environment or a ‘suck it up and deal’ environment.
I just want to point out that the economy isn’t “bad” because there aren’t jobs out there, it’s bad because companies are aiming for super-high profit margins and not taking the time to actually balance the workload over a humane number of employees. Sure, I got a job. Hell, I’ve got three of them. I’d give one to someone else, and be happy to work 1.5 jobs, but alas, those decisions are not mine to make. So it’s not that there isn’t work. It’s that profits go up when you cut back your staff.
Ever get to the point where there’s so much to do that it just doesn’t matter whether you do any of it or not, so you get paralyzed and start doing less and less? Yeah, I’m there. Fighting against it as best I can, but I’m there.