Well…

… so much for not rocking the boat. Yesterday it was pointed out to me that in all of my client-services glory, my project management skills were pretty damn crappy.

Hrm.

Well, I’m not one to keep quiet, heavens only know too well. So between getting dinged on one thing or another, I ended up finally just writing an email detailing the problems I was having with my workload and asking my boss to help me achieve a better work-life balance. I also pointed out that at the current pace, I was burnt out, and “questioning whether or not I was still a good fit” for my current position.

Yeah.

We’ll see. I’m a firm believer in adult communication skills, but at the same time one of the PMs who was here when I started had tried a similar tactic and ended up getting let go. On the other hand, I’m much older than he was, and this isn’t me flat out telling them that I’m looking for work, it’s me asking for help. In fact, it started out with the sentence “I need help.”

I’ll keep everyone posted as to how it works out, but even a week’s vacation didn’t do much to actually reverse the sort of perma-burn I’m developing for agency work. Nothing like working harder than ever, WITH a Masters degree now, and getting the same amount of money. With a longer commute.

Such is the suckitude of this economy that I am grateful just to be employed. And a little upset, because the team here is great. Best agency team I’ve worked with anywhere, and that’s saying something given my past. But it’s the sheer volume and quantity of the work which is overwhelming. You get to the point where the sheer quantity simply paralyzes you unless you spend superhuman effort to keep moving and just check one things off the list.

At least for me. But asking for help is the first step to getting help. So we’ll see. Worst case scenario, back to unemployment and the time to devote to writing again, while searching for another job. But something tells me that this place appreciates the value of their employees and is more focused on improving the situation so that we can all continue to do our work than in needlessly pruning folks who dare to point out that there’s too much work and not enough time or energy in the day.

So this is what it means to be approaching 40.  I know what I want, and I’m not afraid to try and get it in a professionally appropriate manner.

Go figure.

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